I'm going to start this post by saying this:
"Never let people play with your time or your life. Don't be afraid to kick people to the curb. If they cannot communicate or treat you right, then fuck em. Somebody out there needs to read this post.
Put the pressure on people to not play with your life and dream on! You might fail. You might lose opportunity; but at least you won't lose you."
I wish I lived by these principles earlier. You see that photo (taken by my angel of a godsister during Mardi Gras 2 years ago)? I was a smiling man: in a $50 shirt, $200 shoes and a $140 pair of sweatpants, but I was miserable on the inside because I let others tell me how to live my life. I followed their plans thinking that the road was traveled before; and naively believed that they would have my back despite them never saying it verbally and never realizing their total emotional, physical, and mental abandonment. Meaning, they weren't truly invested in me. The whole story is meant for another post. This synopsis, is why I am who I am today.
It took me so long to see that the people whose opinions I cared about (entirely too much) didn't see me for me. They only saw what they wanted to see.
It was all bullshit.
So, I had to question if the love I receive is conditional; and if so, is it even worth living in the conditions (?).
I don't know about you, but there is fire in my heart.
There have been so many people who have forgotten about me, talked down to me and/or left me out of winning situations when they've benefitted from my energy. It's happened so many times that I have to assume responsibility for it. (That's right, at some point within your specific situation, it's all your fault; but it's not too late...) You see, something in me, allowed people - spiritual peasants if you will - to be enriched by my blessing - my anointing; and the realization of it has empowered me to put it to a halt. It was cause and effect.
What made it worse, was that they've never thanked me...
[What's crazy is that people with actual titles and real accomplishments thank me. Hell, Malik Yusef thanked me when I submitted my first instrumental to the camp for Universal. Do you know how many, non-famous, regular people didn't say thank you?!?!?! For my hard work? For my time? For my energy? For my sharing? For my caring and overall niceness? Punctuality? C'mon... you mfs is something else. (don't correct my vernacular, I have a chemistry degree and will shit on you) - don't get it twisted; but back to my story...]
I came to these conclusions because it all built up one day, honestly, and I realized that, "These motherfuckers will never like me"... Oh, how I wish I came upon that conclusion earlier. It's been so much easier to drop these bastards once I realized that it doesn't matter how much you give, or how much they give.
The real conclusion, is that: You deserve, just like I deserve, to not be surrounded by assholes. Even if you are a black sheep. So, this post is for you! Fuck them.
Fuck them because without you telling them everything, they can't live. Fuck them because even when you tell them everything and they benefit from it, they desert you. Fuck them. In the Medieval times, deserters were beheaded; so cut them off. When they slowly return to you, don't say shit to em because they know what they did. They know how they acted; and if they didn't have the empathy enough to include you in wins or to love you, then why should you have the empathy enough to contribute to their spiritual progress and success? There's an Almighty God for that, ok?
I'm not saying to abandon people because they can't tend to your every need. That's bitchmade whether you're male or female and so damn selfish. I'm talking about when you actually give love and it's unreciprocated; and when it further builds the platforms of others while diminishing your light in return... This has nothing to do with the bullshit petty posts of emotionally disgruntled/dissatisfied niggas and bitches on instagram who have the same choice as you to only deal with win-win situations. This post ain't for the complainers. The post is for the self actualized motherfuckers with morals and a heart to do right when everything in the world is telling them to do wrong.
If you're out there reading my post, know that I've been mishandled by the people I held close too; but I refuse to let them or somebody else define me, my career, or anything else pertaining to my existence - other than what it truly is. I also refuse to further allow other to pervert my gifts...
You shouldn't either! Simply put: if they can't handle that you think that they a hoe, then they should rectify their hoe-ass tendencies. Am I right or wrong?
When I was young, my mom told me to not make excuses for grown people. I'm going to add-on to that by saying, don't make excuses for grown people who have been made aware. You have been made aware; and now I'm holding you accountable.
Always remember, the choice is yours. Dream on and never give up!